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Ouij's Board

The immutable system engenders rot

Tables.
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[info]ouij
Resolved:  If I am ever in a position of authority, and an underling gives me a spreadsheet that contains no mathematical operations or numerical data, I will at minimum have him fired, and, ideally, have him flayed and his bleeding carcass displayed from a gibbet above my door, bearing the legend: I DID NOT USE THE PROPER TOOL FOR THE JOB.

I am convinced that, in most offices, spreadsheets are used in three ways: 
  1. Actually performing mathematical calculations on numerical datasets.  Even though this is the whole reason why this particular piece of software actually came to be, it is probably the least widespread use of the technology.
  2. Collecting data--e.g., addresses--.  This is far more common.
  3. Displaying text in a tabular format.  If I had to guess, I would say that 99 percent of all spreadsheet files currently in existence are nothing more than text in a tabular format.

I have never understood why so many people insist on using spreadsheet applications--e.g., Excel-- to display text.  There are other packages on your computer that can display text in a more sane way. 

What I understand less is people pretending that they're organized by dumping data into an Excel spreadsheet--and then not doing any data processing on the sheet at all.  If you're keeping, say, addresses, a spreadsheet is probably the worst way to do it.  You really should be using a real database--that way you can run useful queries over your data set, and sort the information you want in the way you want it for the reason you want to use it.

It has been pointed out to me that Excel, for its part, has a number of excellent text-formatting features.  This may be so, but the only reason that the program has bloated to include those features is because people see grid lines on screen and treat the spreadsheet as if it were a physical, tangible piece of graph paper.  

This is one of the most glaring examples, to my mind, of why WYSIWYG isn't all it's cracked up to be.  A less "cuddly" user environment might actually have nudged people into using the right tool for each job.  But instead, we end up with a blank sheet of graph paper, and users just doodle on it.  That'd be fine, except that they have very definite ideas what that doodle should be--ideas which have little or nothing at all to do with the designed function of the software.  So developers have to bloat otherwise good software with needless complexity to satisfy the myriad demands of their users--who could have made life easier for themselves by stopping to think whether they were using the right tool for the job in the first place.  A framing hammer and a pipe wrench are both heavy tools, and I suppose I could hammer a nail with a pipe wrench if I had nothing else--but I'd be a damn fool to do it, if I knew I had a hammer handy.

End of an era
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[info]ouij
I have seen the end of 32-bit addressing, my friends, and let me tell you, it's not pretty.

My default e-mail client, Evolution, is great, but it keeps my incoming mail in a single mbox file. (for you *nix nerds, by default this is at ~/.evolution/mail/local/).

Over the years, as I've migrated from computer to computer, I have brought my archived e-mails with me in various mbox files. As of last night, that represented a little under six years' of e-mail correspondence. I'd simply folded the mbox files into each other, allowing me to have a single mbox file that I could search--not that I did all that much grepping through my old logs, but I do go poking into my old correspondence every so often.

But there was a problem lurking here. On IA32, the Linux kernel can only handle files smaller than two gigabytes. It simply can't address anything bigger. After years of folding mboxes into each other, my Inbox file finally got so huge that the kernel just couldn't deal with it any more--Evolution spat an error about the file being too large, and there I was.

Now I know what the Paleolithic inhabitants of the cave at Zhoukoudian/Choukoutien felt like, as they were slowly squeezed out by the ashes of their continuously-tended fires.

I spent most of late last night/early this morning installing the AMD64 build of Ubuntu. Just as expected, the 64-bit kernel addressed the huge 2 GB file with no problem, and I set to work moving older files in the mbox to a series of archives (by year).

Sadly, this hasn't yet shrunk the file by nearly enough to make it addressable by my 32-bit Ubuntu install. Evo spits out a "file too large for data type" error--and, sure enough, the software reports an mbox file over two gigabytes big.

Most of the prolbem comes from my ISP: about a year ago, their POP3 server started acting weird; occasionally resetting the "read" status on messages. Since I download local copies of all the data on the remote server, this could be bad news: every time the ISP hiccups, I'm obliged to download the past however many months of messages all at once. I've tried to deal with it as best I can, but I probably have a metric shitload of redundant copies in that mbox file alone. Thanks, guys. I'll need to install a plugin or run a script to get rid of the redundancies.

Or I could just bite the bullet and migrate to a 64-bit kernel. But I'm so dependent on WINE and various non-free codecs that are avalable only on IA32 that migrating to the new architecture would be a real pain in the ass.

How NOT to use PowerPoint
self, camphone, eye
[info]ouij
Via digg, I bring you a helpful guide on How NOT to use PowerPoint by stand-up comic Don McMillan.

PowerPoint was supposed to make your presentations more effective. Unfortunately, most PowerPoint presentations are dense, obscure, and not particularly helpful. Once you realize that you're being subjected to death by PowerPoint, the best you can hope for is that you have merely wasted your time.

Unfortunately, the consequences of some PowerPoint presentations are more serious. In Thomas Ricks' latest book, Fiasco, we discover that the entire Iraq War was conceived, planned, and refined in a series of PowerPoint presentations:



This slide shows how the Pentagon viewed the transition to "Strategic Success" in Iraq. Notice: this slide contains ZERO factual content. Scan taken from Arms and Influence

Let's be blunt: PowerPoint is a tool of the illiterate. The written word, skillfully deployed, can express complex realities. PowerPoint takes those complex realities and makes them into meaningless visual window-dressing.

Alexander Pope, Firefox 2, and Ubuntu Edgy
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[info]ouij
Be not the first by whom the New are try'd,
Nor yet the last to lay the Old aside.

(from "An Essay on Criticism," AD 1711.)

This is my Dad's favorite passage from Pope, and mine as well. It was originally about style in poetry, but it could very well apply to bleeding-edgers in the computer/software world. I tend to get very upset at people with "Beta fever," who absolutely MUST have the latest-and-greatest, stability be damned.

Keep your Beta fever down to reasonable levels, kids. The servers are probably being hammered now, and there will still be a flurry of bugfixes before official release. Stay with 1.5.x for now.


People, listen up: back in the OLD days, when our spiffy IBM-compatible computers came with two 5.25 inch floppy disk drives--one for the OS, one for the program--we were wary of x.0 releases. They could be counted on to be buggy/unstable/otherwise unsuitable. If we had version number (x-1).y, and there were no compelling reasons to upgrade...we stayed put.

Fresh software means fresh bugs. Living on the cutting edge means bleeding every so often. So don't go after the absolute NEWEST version and then complain about stability or other concerns.

[I note with interest/chagrin that Beta fever is most pronounced among Windows users....]

FUD and the GIMP
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[info]ouij
Thanks to Ubuntu Community Hero aysiu, I have been directed to an interesting blog post about my image editor of choice, the GIMP:

Let's call this one "An exercise in getting the real facts." Many of the arguments against FOSS software out there are just plain wrong, and having a few links ready to educate the uninformed at least gives others a chance to get their facts straight . Take Gimp, for instance. Gimp released again, and like a Holiday on the calandar, that always means it's flame-weekend on the Internet. Gimp is proprietary software users' number-one favorite straw man. I have never seen the FOSS program that takes half the abuse that Gimp does.

The rest of the essay can be linked above, but I think it's a good refutation of a lot of anti-GIMP FUD that floats around.


Omfgz help!!!!!!!!!!!11110ne
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[info]ouij
Best. Help. Request. EVER.

Ubuntu Bug #1 takes down another household
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[info]ouij
Note: I first posted a version of the following on the Ubuntu Forums

Ubuntu Bug No. 1 takes down another household.



It is with no great joy that I report the beginning of the end of my family’s experiment with non-Microsoft operating systems. The next computer that attaches to the family network will run Windows exclusively.

Some background is in order. I am the oldest and most technically-inclined of three sons, and thus de facto Family SysAdmin. I am, personally, committed to GNU/Linux and will continue to run it on my own computers.

This household has actually been running desktop Linux in some form or another since 2004--initially as a stop-gap “recovery” solution to a broken WinME box, and latterly as a primary OS. All “initial setup”--installation, codecs, flashplayer, etc--was done by me.

The “kitchen computer”--the family’s real point of reference as far as desktop Linux is concerned--has been remarkably reliable. Extremely long uptimes (weeks at a time (!)), nothing breaking, everything in order. The main problem is that it’s slow, but that’s a hardware issue more than anything else--there’s really only so much you can do with a VIA C3 processor.


A case study in Linux non-adoption )

Windoze daze
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[info]ouij
My office just migrated to WindowsXP. It's really fun watching a whole bunch of 12:00 users being confronted with new software.

Basic functionality has not changed; all that has changed, for most users, is the look...and yet people are utterly baffled. Considering the amount of confusion this is generating, I wonder if it might not be equally difficult/easy to migrate to an entirely new Operating Systemm, like, say Ubuntu.

That's not to say that we don't use *nix here in the office. At least some workstations (in the IT department) have multiboot-capable bootloaders, which boot Windows, FreeBSD, Solaris.

Amusingly, I am not very badly affected. My "home" folder--whatever Windows calls ~/ and ~/Desktop-- has been migrated as well, so my puTTY and WinVi are still there.

Of course, I wish that I could run cygwin. Apparently, with Cygwin, I can fully GNOME-ify my desktop...but I'm fairly sure that the IT guys would kill me if I did that.

Flashback
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[info]ouij
Here's one of my first posts about getting hit by the sobig worm back in the summer of 2003--in the middle of thesis-writing. Given that, it's not surprising that I was ready to go to Linux when I did.

So that's what I am, eh.
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[info]ouij

I'm sitting there at the kitchen computer reading something in lynx. Iñaki, my youngest brother looks at me, then looks over at the stark textmode console.

"Pinging again...oh." He says.

"The console's faster," I explain.

"Man," he says, somewhat exasperated. "You're so BACK-IN-THE-DAY!"


I will explain briefly
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[info]ouij

In a world of brilliant information technology, I am working with people who would be better off with IBM Selectrics, or who might even benefit from monkeys hand-setting lead type. This is particularly galling to me since I've started playing with LyX.

Linspire's Carmony on the Ubuntuforums: Click'n'StandYourGroundAndFight
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[info]ouij

It's not often the CEO of a software company wades into what might be a hostile forum to defend his company's actions.

Click'N'STAND YER GROUND AND FIGHT )

Rearranging the Deckchairs?
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[info]ouij


Feast your eyes, friends, on Microsoft's new Red Screen of DEATH. Slashdot links to a blog post by Joi Ito that the newest version of Windows (codename "Longhorn") will sport this error screen for really bad errors, in addition to the traditional BSOD for merely bad errors.

Does this strike anybody else as unbelievably stupid? It would appear that the best Microsoft can do any more is change the background color of an error screen to inform us end-users, helpfully, that our system is well and truly fucked. It doesn't speak well of the final product when this passes for a 'helpful' upgrade. Why not fix the problems that lead to such catastrophic crashes in the first place?

The worst part of this is that this is not even a particularly good error screen. The old Amiga computers' Workbench OS used to lock up every now and then with the bizarre guru meditation error, for instance. And of course, Old World Macs had the classic (and infamous) bomb, complete with cryptic references to error codes in the appropriate manual. But the Longhorn RSOD is neither cute nor particularly informative.

Fight the power
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[info]ouij
So Microsoft tangled with a kid in Cleveland and was forced to settle. Comrade Chris, you should read this--if this kid can lick federal civil procedure with a few weeks' study and a few strong cups of coffee, you can, too.

Incidentally, at the end of the piece, he says he'll continue using Microsoft software. I'm a bit disappointed; I'd have thought a biochem grad student would have had some exposure to UNIX systems. And since he's arguing that a guy making 3500 bucks a year can't really afford a waste of 60 dollars, I'd have thought he'd jump on the Free Software movement.

Just goes to show; it's a lot harder to achieve class consciousness than the theorists say it is.

C is for cookie
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[info]ouij
....and cookies are annoying, when you're using Opera

I had originally downloaded Opera so that I could surf the web using a browser other than Microsoft Internet Explorer. Opera has many things to recommend it:



    System resources. Yes, I know that IE is 'integrated' into the whole "Windows XPerience." But the fact is that Opera works just as well for MUCH less RAM. To quote an Amazonian explorer, Opera's pared-down multimedia abilities "...might make other [browsers] sick with laughter..." but, on the other hand, it carries with it "not one thing that is superflous..." If I want multimedia, I'll install the various plugins as I need them--just like in the old days. Opera, less the Java Runtime Environment, will fit on a floppy diskette--how many of your frequently-used applications can say that ?

    Quick Searches Google is right on the address bar--just type g, a space, and your serch terms. All the other major search engines are also likewise easily accessible. This makes for extremely fast, information-at-your-fingertips convenience. At least it does for me.

    Fast HTML rendering. If you're chewing through lots of webpages that are mostly text--a reality when you're dealing with online journals--Opera gets you there faster and more efficiently than IE.

    Superior interface Mouse gestures and keyboard shortcuts make for more efficient browsing. Want to go back? Hold right, click left. Forward? hold left, click right. Spacebar will somehow find the "next" link and get you to the next page in a sequence--very useful. IE, with it's now haul the cursor up to the BACK button AGAIN interface is slow and clumsy and irritating by comparison.



In the end, this all boils down to efficiency. I get more and better websurfing done with Opera than I would with IE, and with fewer irritations. I am now so dependent on certain aspects of Opera that I find myself somewhat lost without them--the mouse gestures, in particular, have become as natural to me as typing, and on the occasions when I have to use browsers other than Opera, I find myself uselessly using the Opera mouse gesture commands....

Again, Opera's great for reading on the Web. On a functional level, it makes life easy for the researcher, especially if he's mucking about academic journals online, such as JSTOR or electronic collections of documents such as are held by the National Security Archive at George Washington University.

In my case, it also means much more efficient shuffling about ebay --or it did until recently. Lately ebay has gotten less Opera-friendly, and begun showing up bizarre "your browser does not accept cookies" error messages at me when I tried to log in on Opera. Never mind that I have duly instructed Opera to accept all cookies from all servers. Never mind that I specifically instruct it to accept cookies from ebay. Never mind all of that--ebay now REFUSES to let me in.

No such bullshit from IE...and the change seems to have occurred this week. I'm disappointed; ebay used to be pretty browser-neutral, but increasingly it seems to have fallen into the IE or 'owt trap of so many other otherwise-good websites. C'mon, people. Let's have some STANDARDS here!


....all of this is probably just as well, since I can't really afford that Rolleicord that I want, anyway. If anybody out there is generous, I'm wishing for a Rolleicord Vb for Christmas. Or even aRolleiflex 2.8 Planar , if you can swing it. I've been ever so good.....

A Surfiet of Worms!
self, camphone, eye
[info]ouij
I am getting HAMMERED by the Sobig worm.

I must be receiving at least 40 or 50 emails an hour, all Sobig related. I, myself don't have the worm--I've checked--but it's getting on other peoples' machines and 'spoofing' as me, and so at least half of the crap that I get is mail-undeliverable errors from mailer-daemons.

AAAAARRRRGH!

On the positive, I now know more email addresses than I will ever need. If I could be bothered, I might even retain all the addresses I'm getting, in a vain effort to understand what's going on. Sobig is turning into a degrees-of-separation tracer: when it infects a computer, it finds email addresses in the victim's address books and uses them to send more copies of itself, and

In the parlance of Niccolo Machiavelli:
"Thus things proceed in their circle";
And thus the empire is maintained.--

- Ezra Pound, "Moeurs Contemporaines"


In any case, mail-undeliverable notices that I receive bounce back to me from people at least two degrees of separation away. In other words, these people have a Ouij Number of 2 or greater--and I'm not sure I can think of many people, off the top of my head, who have very high Ouij Numbers, because, naturally, I haven't met them.

No, I haven't been wasting my time at the Oracle of Bacon . Although I can tell you that I have a Bacon Number of 4. Nyeah, nyeah nyeah.

Hell, Sobig might be Ramsey Theory in action. But I don't know enough mathematics to be able to make sweeping statements like that. Someone might want to correct me.

And some more imponderables for you:

    If a picture is worth 1,000 words, how many words is a table worth?

    Am I being cheeky if I append the relevant clauses of a treaty I spend one-third of my essay dissecting?

    Am I being coherent at all?


OK. back to work, but not before a juxtaposition. Comrade Chris, are you listening?




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